Category: Funny

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence!

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!

Coffee has a rough time in our house.
It gets mugged every single morning!

What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!

Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants!

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
A stick.

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work!

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It’s making headlines.

Why do ants not get sick?
They have anty-bodies.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his front door.
He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

I waited all night to see where the sun would rise…
…And then it dawned on me.