Category: Funny

There are three types of people in the world.
Those of us who are good at math, and those of us who aren’t.

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
“Oh sheet!”

Ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s time-consuming.

What streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends !

What did the elephant ask the naked man?
How do you breathe out of that thing?

I watched hockey before it was cool.
They were basically swimming.

What’s green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree?
A pool table.

One lung said to another…
we be-lung together!

Where did the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies.

What’s the award for being best dentist?
A little plaque.

What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fssshh.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. 
.. Probably why I got run over.